the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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