im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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