she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Randomize
