I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
