I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
