OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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