After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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