I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
