i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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