I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
