I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
