If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So many bounce houses so little time
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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