omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
