we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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