Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
