either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
