I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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