Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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