found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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