Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
