Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
