as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
