I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i dont even know how to be here
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
where are my eyebrows?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
