i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
