Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
