Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
