i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
