I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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