Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
