i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
