my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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