So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
