I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
