i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
