so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You made out with two different species that night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
