I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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