he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
