But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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