I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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