Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
