It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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