Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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