Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
