i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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