Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
