if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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