She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
