How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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