i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what day is it and did you see me today?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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