Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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